Rest

This morning I went into the NICU to see Max. They had to turn his oxygen up a bit last night because he was having a bit of trouble. All of his stats look really good and his breathing has slowed down some so he is hopefully close to turning the corner. They decided today they want him to rest and not be messed with too much which means I won't be holding him today. 

I really cannot articulate how awful it feels to be told you cannot hold or nurse your baby. It is breaking my heart. The rational part of me hears what they are saying and I want him to rest and not get over stimulated but the mom part of me is just broken. How can me holding him be bad? All I want to do is hold him and nurse him all day long. I came back to my hospital room and just sobbed. This is SO HARD. 

I do get to change his diapers and talk to him and can sit by him as much as I want so later I will bring a book down and sit with him after I pump. 

So to sum it up he is doing well. Today is a day of rest for him and I am praying this helps him turn the corner so I can start trying to nurse him. Will try and update later!

Look at these flowers and little figurine I got from a friend. They are so lovely and help cheer up my room!

Here are a few pics of my sweet little baby!

Sweet little Max Steven.