Discharged

A couple of days ago I realized that Max was not going to be released the same day that I was from the hospital. He just was not making a quick turn around. I have just really been dreading it. I knew I was being released today from the hospital. 

Thankfully my mom and sister came literally at the perfect time. They got into town last night and came to the hospital first thing this morning. I got to take them to see little Max. 

Then they helped me clean and pack up my hospital room and stayed with me while I waited to get discharged. I was feeling pretty good and calm through that whole process. I even felt calm as I walked out of the room. However, when we reached the elevators I hit the emotional wall. I am so glad my mom and sister were there to comfort and encourage me. They talked me through it and just loved me. I don't know how I would have done it without them. 

We then went and picked up the "big" kids from my mother in law. She has been watching them this whole time!!! How can I thank her enough?!?! She saved the day. It was really fun to see them. Saffryn and Pierce were both so concerned about me and were so sweet to me. Colt was a little bit shy and ran into his room straight away and found some of his blankets and snuggled with them. It was kind of weird because it was normal with them but still felt so unnormal because we were missing a member. The kids asked so many questions and have such a sweet heart about Max. 

After lunch my mom took me back to the hospital (I can't drive myself for 2 weeks) and I got to hold Max for 2.5 hours!!! It was so wonderful. It was soothing balm to my momma heart. I pray it was as refreshing and encouraging to Max! He was such a sweetie and just slept comfortably the whole time!

While these next however many days will be hard I decided to just focus on one thing at a time. I am going to try and make it to as many feedings of his as I can. So this means just focusing a few hours at a time. This is helping it feel more manageable. So instead of thinking my baby isn't here I try and think his next feeding is in 3 hours and I will get to help him and see him. That doesn't sound nearly as bad. Then in the meantime I can spend time with the other children and Dan and my mom and sister. 

Hoping and praying he has a good night and starts to make some good progress. I am so ready to be with him all the time.