Perks to Being the Baby

There is one serious perk to being the baby of a family...

You are continually doted on by ALL members of the family!

Oh how we love this little munchkin!

Tiny Baby Snuggles

I just cannot seem to get enough tiny baby snuggles. 

Or tiny baby feet. 

Or tiny baby with his brothers. 

I just love soaking up all this sweet and tiny goodness!!!

Happy

We are all so happy to be home together!

The kids were so taken by him. They think he is so "cute" and "tiny". They couldn't wait to hold him and give him tickle touches. 

Saffryn of course ran and got her baby and wanted me to hold her, too. Lol!

Then Pierce wanted blue bear to be next to him for a bit. 

Daddy was so happy to have us home!

Colt was a little standoffish yesterday but this morning has enjoyed sitting next to him and giving him gentle touches. 

Sweet boys!

Sweet and tiny little nugget!

So great to be together!

Headed Home

Look who is headed home!!!! 

Oh what a happy day!!!!

One Step Closer

Baby Max has graduated from the NICU to Special Care Nursery!!! We are one step closer to going home! It is so great because we are in our own little room and I am going to be here all day and night. It is really relaxed and I can hold him as much as I would like and just work on bonding and nursing him!!! I am practically giddy!

He needs to finish up some antibiotics and he needs to be able to eat all of his meals without tube feeding and gain weight. Once those things are done we can go home!!!!

I was able to start nursing him yesterday and he did so great! The first time I tried he wasn't exactly sure what to do. Then he started sucking and got a little taste of milk and pulled away and just sat there smacking his lips trying to figure out what just happened. It was so funny!!! Then he latched right on and nursed like a champ!  It was so great. I could tell he loved it and that made me so very happy. 

He keeps trying to pull his feeding tube out so they had to give him a tape mustache. Lol!!!

Silly baby!

While he was in utero we found out his kidneys were dialated. I had to meet with a maternal fetal specialist and they decided he had hydronephrosis. Yesterday they did a VUR scan to see if maybe he had bladder reflux and that is what is causing the dialation. I just found out that scan came back normal and he doesn't have bladder reflux which is great! So now we just wait and keep an eye on his kidneys to see how they do and if they can just calm down and take care of themselves. 

I think that takes care of all the current updates. Today is going to be a great day!

My sister saying goodbye to Max in the NICU. My mom and sister had to go home today. They were so much help in every possible way. We will all miss them so much!

Some flowers my grandparents sent to us! They are beautiful!

Max in his big boy crib in the Special Care Nursery!

Will update more soon!

It's Off

It is off!!! The Cpap is off!!!

This morning when my mom and I came into the NICU to be with Max for his 8am feeding I noticed he had pulled his Cpap out of his nose. I immediately looked to his monitor to see how everything was doing and realized his stats were right where they should be. So we waited a minute and they stayed stable. I called the nurse over and she was excited and said, "today might just be the when he turns the corner!" She went and told the NICU doctor and they both agreed that assuming he continued to do well they would take his Cpap off later in the day. 

They also increased his feedings to an ounce every 3 hours and wanted to see how he would handle that. 

Also, he has been in a hospital gown for over 24 hours and has managed to keep his body temperate stable without the warmer on!

Which all means he is closer to coming home!!!

I left the hospital feeling so encouraged. I came back for his 2pm feeding and got to do another 2.5 hours of holding him! It was so great. Really, really great. 

After we got him back in his isollete the doctor gave us the all clear to take off his Cpap. I felt so bad watching them take the tape off his skin and hair. Poor baby. But even while he was crying his stats stayed stable! We watched him for a few minutes and he was so calm and happy!!!   If he can stay off oxygen all night tomorrow I will get to try and nurse him! I am so excited! 

To add to the happy day the NICU family council made special loveys for the babies and Max got a wildcat one!

That is some seriously good juju for tomorrow's game. Go CATS!

Ok! Headed to the hospital for his 8pm feeding. Will try and update again tomorrow. What a happy day. 

Thanks for all the prayers and love!

Discharged

A couple of days ago I realized that Max was not going to be released the same day that I was from the hospital. He just was not making a quick turn around. I have just really been dreading it. I knew I was being released today from the hospital. 

Thankfully my mom and sister came literally at the perfect time. They got into town last night and came to the hospital first thing this morning. I got to take them to see little Max. 

Then they helped me clean and pack up my hospital room and stayed with me while I waited to get discharged. I was feeling pretty good and calm through that whole process. I even felt calm as I walked out of the room. However, when we reached the elevators I hit the emotional wall. I am so glad my mom and sister were there to comfort and encourage me. They talked me through it and just loved me. I don't know how I would have done it without them. 

We then went and picked up the "big" kids from my mother in law. She has been watching them this whole time!!! How can I thank her enough?!?! She saved the day. It was really fun to see them. Saffryn and Pierce were both so concerned about me and were so sweet to me. Colt was a little bit shy and ran into his room straight away and found some of his blankets and snuggled with them. It was kind of weird because it was normal with them but still felt so unnormal because we were missing a member. The kids asked so many questions and have such a sweet heart about Max. 

After lunch my mom took me back to the hospital (I can't drive myself for 2 weeks) and I got to hold Max for 2.5 hours!!! It was so wonderful. It was soothing balm to my momma heart. I pray it was as refreshing and encouraging to Max! He was such a sweetie and just slept comfortably the whole time!

While these next however many days will be hard I decided to just focus on one thing at a time. I am going to try and make it to as many feedings of his as I can. So this means just focusing a few hours at a time. This is helping it feel more manageable. So instead of thinking my baby isn't here I try and think his next feeding is in 3 hours and I will get to help him and see him. That doesn't sound nearly as bad. Then in the meantime I can spend time with the other children and Dan and my mom and sister. 

Hoping and praying he has a good night and starts to make some good progress. I am so ready to be with him all the time. 

Rest

This morning I went into the NICU to see Max. They had to turn his oxygen up a bit last night because he was having a bit of trouble. All of his stats look really good and his breathing has slowed down some so he is hopefully close to turning the corner. They decided today they want him to rest and not be messed with too much which means I won't be holding him today. 

I really cannot articulate how awful it feels to be told you cannot hold or nurse your baby. It is breaking my heart. The rational part of me hears what they are saying and I want him to rest and not get over stimulated but the mom part of me is just broken. How can me holding him be bad? All I want to do is hold him and nurse him all day long. I came back to my hospital room and just sobbed. This is SO HARD. 

I do get to change his diapers and talk to him and can sit by him as much as I want so later I will bring a book down and sit with him after I pump. 

So to sum it up he is doing well. Today is a day of rest for him and I am praying this helps him turn the corner so I can start trying to nurse him. Will try and update later!

Look at these flowers and little figurine I got from a friend. They are so lovely and help cheer up my room!

Here are a few pics of my sweet little baby!

Sweet little Max Steven. 

An Update

This morning I spent some time in the NICU with my sweet baby! I was hoping when I got there he would have shown tons of improvement and we could have gotten the oxygen off today. 

Unfortunately his breathing became more labored and fast again last night and the doctor decided to do another xray on his chest to see what is going on. I was so discouraged and couldn't fight off the tears. The nurse was so sweet and gave me a box of tissues and handed me Max to hold. After a few minutes we decided to do skin on skin and that was so great!!!

As I was doing skin on skin the doctor came over to talk to me about the X-ray. She said it looked better than yesterday's which was good news! She said there was still some fluid in his lungs at the bottom that needed to drain still. She said upping the pressure on the Cpap will help open his lungs a bit more and should really help clear up that fluid. She also said he was probably a bit gassy from swallowing some of that air and that can add pressure to his diaphragm causing him to work a bit harder. So they would give him a suppository and try to get some gas out. We will see if that helps. 

Dan and I held him for a while then had to go get some lunch. This afternoon I came back and found they have turned off the warmer and he was regulating his own body temperature! Good job little boy! He also had 2 dirty diapers when I changed him! They have placed a small feeding tube in his nose to start giving him my breast milk and get his gut working. He has had 2 feedings (4ml and 3 ml) and seems to be handling it well. He is still working hard on that breathing but the nurses and doctors are assuring me it just takes a little time. 

Here are a few pictures from today. He is so cute. I wish you could get a good feel for just how tiny he is!!!

Oh I love this little baby!!!