Alone

I have been very fortunate to be surrounded by moms these last 4 years (almost 3 years with Saffryn and 9 months of pregnancy). Some moms have older kids, some have children the same age as mine and some have younger children (meaning their firstborn is the same age as my youngest). This has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. And let me tell you why!

Picture this scene.

You are at the park with your kids. You see this gorgeous mom who is incredibly put together. You get a chance to talk with her and she is super nice. It is obvious she adores being a mom. She just gushes about every positive achievement. When it is time to leave she calls her perfectly dressed kids. They come the first time. They all hold hands and easily get in the car. As they drive away you imagine her coming home to her perfectly clean house. She will spend the afternoon baking while her kids sleep for hours on end. She will have dinner ready for husband. They will all sit down quietly to eat and discuss their day. Her children don't make a mess intentionally, they don't scream or fight. After dinner they all read stories together and the kids willingly go to bed and sleep all night.

You then call your kids to leave. One is covered in mud because they somehow managed to find the one source of water in the whole state. The other one screams and throws themself on the ground because they don't want to leave. Your arms are full of kids and their crap as you try to leave this embarrassing scene as quickly as you can. On the way home the one kid is still screaming from having to leave...or some other reason, it is hard to tell when one tantrum ends and the other begins. The other child falls asleep so you know they won't be taking a nap when they get home. Your house is less than impeccable. There will be no baking and dinner (if you want to call what you have thrown together dinner) will be late. The kids don't eat but manage to make a huge mess, while being so loud you can't get a word out to your sweet hubby. Bedtime is a struggle as usual. Let's cross our fingers for sleeping through the night.

Phew. Then you lay your head down and wonder why it is so hard for you. Am I doing something wrong? You remember that awesome mom from the park and feel worse. If she can do it so easily, then why can't I???

Okay maybe that story was over dramatized (lol...or maybe not). But you get my point. Over the last 4 years I have felt that way. I have been around those awesome moms. And you know what? God has given me the chance to meet them a second time and go deeper. Then the same 2 things come out of her mouth, just like every other mom I get to connect with.

Thing 1: I struggle with something parenting related. It could be (and not limited to) sleeping, eating, potty training, obedience, balance, clean house, connecting with spouse, etc...

Thing 2: why is it so easy for everyone else???

Yup even that put together mom feels like it is easier for everyone else. She even asks frazzled little me for advice! Say what?!?!

And this is the whole point of this post (sorry it took me so long to get here):

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

Maybe you will not struggle with the exact same things, maybe you are going through period where things are flowing more smoothly, or maybe you are going through a stretch of chaos. But either way you are not alone.

Let me be the first to say it is hard. Really, it is hard for me. I don't have all the answers. Lots of times my children are the ones throwing the huge and embarrassing fit.

But let's not sweep that under the rug. Let's embrace it and talk about it. Why? Because if we are left feeling alone and discouraged we begin to listen to those little lies. You know those little lies: "you are a bad mom. Your children are exceptionally bad and disobedient. It IS just you. It doesn't get easier." Then we will believe them. Then we begin to become lethargic, discouraged, angry or any combination. We could resent ourselves, our children, our spouse or other moms. Let's not! Let's stop the lies!

Now don't get me wrong, I want us to gush over achievements! I want us to love the little things! I just don't want to be fake about the hard things. I want it to be okay to talk about challenges because at some point during you parenting years you will struggle with something! And how great would it be to have another mom come along side of you and say, "You are NOT alone! You are still a good mom! Your kids are awesome...they are just being kids." If we hide our struggles we won't ever get to experience that.

Okay this is a long (and potentially weird) and random post. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. It is tough being a momma! I will always be as honest as I can about my experiences. This is intentional! I am so thankful for all the sweet mommas God has put in my life. ALL of you. When you get real with me it encourages me so much! It helps me be a better mom! Truly it does! So thanks!!!

You are NOT alone! It is hard for all of us! But I know you wouldn't trade it for anything because I wouldn't either!!!




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