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Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Looking at my measly 5 posts in April it's safe to say my blogging has been lacking. The why is a little more confusing though. Yes part of it is pregnancy exhaustion, part of it is having 2 kids, a husband and a dog to take care of. But the real reason is I feel as though I am living on an emotional roller coaster that literally changes at the drop of a hat so I don't know what I am feeling or what to say! One minute me and the kids are all laughing have a blast together and I am filled with love and joy. Then 5 minutes later I have a toddler who has pushed her brother. He hits his head and Saffryn is throwing the hugest tantrum and I am left exhausted and discouraged. Then an hour later we are back to having fun. Then I am so tired and no one is taking naps and discouragement sets in again. Only to have it replaced by a laughing fit of fun (are you as confused as I am???). So I decided to do a long post summarizing the past few weeks. I don't think I am exaggerating when I say it will be long so read at your own discretion.

THE UGLY: I am starting with this so I can end with good :)

The past few weeks we have lived in a little place called tantrum city. And can I just tell you. It. Is. Exhausting. I thought I was prepared for toddler hood. I mean I have a degree in Early Childhood Education for crying out loud!!! I have spent lots of time learning about and working with toddlers. I have nannied for toddlers and watched friends go through the toddler stage so I thought...I am ready! Wrong. Again. Being a parent of a toddler is a totally different game then being a teacher of one. My toddler doesn't stop tantrums at 5pm when the work day is over. Nor does it end on the weekends so I can get a much needed break. I am on all day, everyday. It is so tough. Oh yea and I am by myself all day without any input from other adults and no help. It is so hard because she walks away from a tantrum smiling, singing and jumping around...while I walk away from one completely drained emotionally and physically.

So a couple of weeks ago I felt like I needed a little bit of a boost in the tantrum department. I wanted some tools to see how to handle them and a refresher if you will. My mother recommended an early childhood philosophy called Conscious Discipline. So I went to it and immediately went to their tantrums section under resources. The first thing they tell you to do when handling a tantrum is to stay calm. Ummm...I did not read the rest of the article because I was SO ANNOYED. Really??? That is step 1...THAT IS THE HARD PART!!! I need like 10 steps to how to stay calm. It is easy to stay calm during the first 10 tantrums...its when it has been all day long, and you need to take care of your other child and dog and self that the patience starts wearing pretty thin. Anyway after I got over myself for a minute I read through the rest of the article and found it pretty helpful. No it did not make the tantrums vanish (unfortunately) but it did give me some tools on how to talk to her during tantrums. It also gave her some tools on how to control herself so tantrums can actually be a learning experience.


THE BAD:

My son is now at the age where he is learning rules and boundaries. He is also the personality that likes to push the boundaries and do exactly what it is you are asking him not to! So in order to teach the rules I must follow through with him. Every. Single. Time. It is pretty exhausting. The worst part...he smiles and laughs about it. STINKER!

My daughter has discovered the small and harmless creature we like to call ants. Only she has decided they are not small and they are not harmless. She has decided any bugs and anything resembling a bug (bird poop, mulch, a leaf blowing in the wind) is something to be upset and scared about. We have been talking about it a lot and when we are in the house she is as cool as a cucumber and can process that they are not harmful to us. But when we are outside and she sees one (or thinks she sees one) it is a totally different story. Now to be fair when she is rested (which is rare and a totally different issue) and has her shoes on she can handle it much better than when she is tired and has decided to not wear shoes. I am kind of discouraged because I had such high hopes for this summer. I envisioned all of the amazing and fun things we would all do together and if she doesn't "get over" this fear I am afraid (no pun intended) our summer is going to be pretty crummy.

Nap times. I feel like this needs to be a post in and of itself. I have one child (the little boy) who needs 2 naps a day no exceptions. This has its downfalls because it limits our outings and fun things. I have another child (the big girl) who is convinced she no longer needs to nap...in fact lets just cut out sleep altogether! This is a challenge to me because her body needs the rest. She is a mess without it. So I am trying to balance out these two extremes. It is nice when we are home and Pierce is taking a morning nap because it gives Saffryn and I a chance to spend some time together. I am also back to enforcing "quiet time" for Saffryn so I can have at least 20-30 minutes of time to myself.


OK.....now to THE GOOD:

Sorry the ugly and bad took up so much. It is fair to say I am exhausted and am finding this stage pretty tough. But it is not all bad. I promise. We have fun! Saffryn says the funniest and sweetest things! She has started really pretend playing and it is really neat. While playing together Saffryn tells me, "Hold my hand. There are cars everywhere. But I will keep you safe." She also chased down her brother while he was running toward the street (for the umpteenth time) and yells, "NO BUDDY! No buddy. Don't go in the street. It is not safe for you boy!" Pierce has started saying is first spoken word, "uh oh." That was actually Saffryn's first word too. You can guess what I must say a lot around the house. hahahah!!! They love to play together and Crash always joins in on the fun. Pierce walks all around the house now and they spend lots of time chasing each other.

My energy during the day is back!!!! I have been starting to be pretty productive and getting ready for baby 3. While I was going through Saffryn's room and organizing she kept asking me what I was doing. So I told her we were making room for her new big girl bed. She started jumping up and down and is so so so excited to be getting a new big girl bed in a few weeks! We have been talking about it non-stop! We are going to move Saffryn's crib to Pierce's room and have the boys share a room! So fun to think about getting things ready for him!

We had no damage done to us when that nasty storm and tornado came through last weekend. What a blessing! The kids were so great when we had to wake them up and go in the basement and lost power. We played with the flashlight and just talked about the sirens and storm. I was SO proud of them!!!

Pierce has learned to drink through a straw which means...special drinks for all!!!!! I gave him his first special drink yesterday while we were getting the car's oil changed. It was a Caribbean way smoothie. It is safe to say he loved it!!!!

Well that basically sums up the last several weeks. Hope it wasn't too much of a downer...but hey I gotta keep it real. Being a mom is tough....my mother in law says.."its the hardest job you'll ever love" (which I think she said is actually a slogan from the marines...but lets face it...totally fits the parenting role). And yes I do truly love it.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

3 comments:

  1. I hear ya with the tantrums--exhausting!! We must share the same life. I have the child dev. degree and have ONLY worked with kids/families my whole working career and having my own to deal with is so challenging! I often find that all those tips and such don't work or maybe they just don't work b/c I am in the heat of the moment. You are so right--PATIENCE!! I swear we have the same kids. Landrey's tantrums were getting so much better. I even wrote about it in my blog and felt so great about it, but now we are back to them and it seems so much worse! EXHAUSTING and very discouraging. It is so weird how it is all fun and games and then .5 secs later a huge meltdown over nothing! Hollis is always getting in to trouble. He smiles and laughs too! He is going to be a quiet trouble maker too--even worse-ha
    Well I am making it a point to pray for you right along sode of praying for myself and my children at night. HUGS!!

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  2. Don't worry about the bug fear. Deacon just recently went through being absolutely terrified of bugs, any shape and any size. He's on the way out of being completely frightened by them. All that to say, it'll pass. Like with anything, as we're learning through parenting, this too shall pass...with time. : ) We just kept telling Deacon God created bugs, too, and bugs are not harmful. We'll just wait to explain stings when he perhaps gets one. : ) Keep up the exhausting, good and joyful work, Tylie!

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  3. Love you Tylie and THANK YOU for being honest. It is so helpful to us new moms to hear the "good, bad, and ugly" of parenthood. :) P.S. I am totally still afraid of bugs and will scream if one (well...if it's a spider) is in our house...haha!

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